Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in benny_mcdeth's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, June 16th, 2005
1:10 am	some people are fucking idiots. basically spoke to this girl for the first time on msn today, shes being really nice and then for some reason she asks if i'd be with her if she was here and i was like well no, i think 16's a bit too young.. let chaos commence.... ( because youll all moan if i dont change it to cut ) and then she blocked me. it takes a lot to piss me off but that really made me angry. some people are fucking idiots. ps. andika socks (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 13th, 2005
12:23 am	couple of points that have emerged in the last moments 1. im opinionated 2. people misunderstand my posts 3. because the majority of people believe in something doesnt mean its right (ie. the world is flat) 4. my opinions arent the same as everyone elses 5. i hate celebrity, the whole idea is awful 6. i agree with communism (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 12th, 2005
9:02 pm	rarr fucktard celebrities who the hell do they think they are?!? now world poverty is a bad thing and all the starving little kiddies in africa sucks! but celebrities telling me to do my bit is hypo-fucking-critical bullshit!!! take this prime example i turn on my tv to watch buffy and the adverts are on so im thinking pff, damn adverts, i dont want a bloody £10,000 peugeot thanku very much and arrg crazy frog!! but i digress. after said frog came justin timbertwat, dressed in white, looking solemnly at the screen. he clicks his fingers, thus follows bono, chris martin, madonna, -insert loser celbrity here- all clicking their fingers looking all sad whats this for i ponder as it continues until mr.voiceover man says something about a kid dying every 3 seconds (i think) from aids, blah blah etc. then its like give £3 a week, buy some wristband or something and do your part. then some other celebrity clicks their fingers and its all over. now im livid how dare they. justin timberlake, bono, chris martin and madonna have more money than all of fucking africa, why dont they give 75% of ther wealth to aids research? now THAT would be charity but they wont, the just want to put their smug, fat faces onto a campaign to boost their image and thus record sales, movie sales, etc. i cannot believe they seriously attempt to lay a guilt trip onto someone like me, i cant afford it!! id fucking love to help but i cant! i dont have the money!! but you do you celebrity bastard so stop hassling me and fuck off edit. just saw an advert for a new U2 album.. coincidence? i think not. edit2. Speaking of which!!! Live 8 just heard the best quote about it "the worlds 8 richest countries get to meet the worlds 8 richest pop stars" (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 11th, 2005
12:21 am	star wars is cool just watched the third one, revenge of the sith good stuff i was GOING to say something about it, but im going to do more research before i formulate something cool, so bear with me (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
4:14 am	i'm ronery, so ronery so ronery and sadry arone poor rittle meeee (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
9:33 pm	in other news, one more exam left.. yay! ( stole from franki ) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
9:05 pm	This is what happens when people piss me off. basically on my profile somewhere i have written... Americans, congratulations to you because you have just won yourself 4 more years of alienating other countries, offending the minorities upon whom your 'great nation' was built, causing wars and fucking up the world. thanks very much you bastards and this is what an american made of it.. HER I'm going to ask you a few questions before I do I will let you know this is not to affend you or insult you in any. 1) What all do you do know about our election? 2) Did you know exactly what was good for us? 3) Did you understand the situation we were under before you got all pissed and blamed all the Americans to blame for the state of the world? If you'd look into your own country's history you'd see that your country did it's fair share of war mongering too. But I can not agree with what the republicans are doing here I felt I had to stand up for my idiot country (led by a idiot). On a funnier note Bush does not have any public speaking ablities and he's incredibly stupid he reads off note cards for his speeches. You should watch him speak it's funny. And if I could have voted I would have never have voted for Bush. I don't think I would've voted for either Kerry or Bush I think I would've voted under "other". so now i was pissed off.. cue reply... ME "I will let you know this is not to affend you or insult you in any" ok well that was a lie wasn't it? it's like when you say 'no offence but..' which is followed by something grossly offensive you've assumed i'm an idiot, which is very very irritating. you've also made the assumption that i wrote that little piece of gold without any prior knowledge and/or relevant material which i used as a base and subsequent guide for my argument. right your questions.. "1) What all do you do know about our election?" well i'm sorry to burst your bubble hunny but i'm a politics student ok? now that means i study the politics of nations other than and including my own, including elections. which suffice to say, means i probably know more than you. or have i misinterpreted? were you asking me for a basic run down of what your elections entail? in that case.. each candidate (now im only taking the republicans and democrats here, im fully aware that there are more) appears on the ballot and every american citizen (not in jail or mentally ill) registered to vote can decide which candidate they'd like their electoral college to vote for. it's a culmination of the toll of the electoral college votes that decides who wins the presidential election. so i hope that answers question 1 for you. "2) Did you know exactly what was good for us?" if an evangelical, idiotic texan is good for your country then i'm a black man. but on the other hand, some may feel he is good for you and that the american culture has become too diverse and you should be reconnected with the true american spirit.. you know, the one that wants to enslave the black man, opress women and empower the single minded white male, rendering free will irrelevant and bringing all under the star spangled banner of freedom, justice and honour. "3) Did you understand the situation we were under before you got all pissed and blamed all the Americans to blame for the state of the world?" lol well considering i was 15 when Bush got elected, i think my knowledge of world history was rather scant but given the wisdom of hindsight yes i do understand the situation you were in. i'm not blaming america entirely thanku very much, but you haven't exactly helped the process! "weapons of mass destruction" ummm, where? no-one found any, therefore you lied, illegally over ran a country and deposed it's leader, that's just plain wrong. and look at the mess the middle east is in now? fantastic. cheers america, appreciate it. what about my country's past? i don't remember being involved in any of those wars.. because i wasn't alive. i can't aplogise because i played no part, offered no judgement, cast no stone, whatever you want to say about it. and you have to remember that british 'warmongering' was at a time when there was no moral outrage about it, it was just another aspect of capitalism, the very same paradigm that america thrives on in the modern world, it's not fair to compare your current situation, in a world of laws against racism, crimes against humanity and internationally recognised state boundaries, to our situation in a world of colonialism and kings and queens. finally, i dont think its funny that hes stupid, it's scary, it would be funnier to shove rusty needles through my eyes to be honest. anyway, if you even got this far, my reply was not intended to offend (that's an O) or insult, merely inform you of my morals. =bEnNY= (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
2:35 am	someone took sneaky pics of me on webcam... ( Read more... ) (16 Comments |Comment on this)
2:07 am	haha decided to scare you all this is me one year ago ( Read more... ) those are the four worst pictures ever taken of me enjoy =P heres my newest one coz im cool (18 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
6:25 pm	hmm im insecure i dont like it but i am (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
3:07 am	so we have another Labour government expected. im not surprised, im glad their majority was lessened though, and rather considerably too. but its not enough Michael Howard's a failure and its just as well he's stepping down soon, fukn Conservatives are a waste of space anyway. Labour won my constituency again, damn you John Smith! i voted Lib Dem who came third in the Vale.. so my vote was pretty much a waste lol. but it's the first time i felt powerful because my family all voted Conservative and i thought no, i'm not going to do it, even though my mum spent all day trying to convince me Con was the way to go! Lib Dem all the way baby! party of the future! anyway, blah blah, exams soon, yadda yadda. bye. =bEnNY= (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
2:51 am	bout time ben you lazy bastard! hello world im not dead =) it's been a while since i posted anything new on here and i just felt like it was the right time. i'm a bit confused and borderline annoyed. now i like it when people trust me enough to come to me with their problems, notably Franki, Pippi or Sammie.. but why do randoms i've met on msn always act as if i'll drop everything i'm doing and give them a confidence boost... probably because i do. i hate it, well i dont hate it, but it concerns me a little because i wana help these people but it'd do damn repetitive and i just feel like saying fucking use your head, stop bitching and do something about it!!! but i can't and won't do that, that's not me. i like to think i'm a nice person, i'm approachable and i listen, now does that mean i want to listen? nooo it doesn't, it means i will. i wish there was a way i could make them all happy but i can't and i sometimes feel like the more i talk to someone and reassure them, the more depressed they get around me because they know i'll work my arse off to make them feel better.. stupid huh? perhaps that's paranoia, or maybe i'm being realistic. i duno don't particuarly care either because i'll never know the answer. it's just bleh! i have a life too people! you know, i'll help you when i can but give me a break please. now i know some of you are going to read this and think it's aimed at you.. it's not, this is just how i feel at this moment in time and concerns no particular person or group of people who will read this journal. and also, i don't want those of you who i do talk to when you need me to stop doing that because if you're in trouble then i want to help, but only because i care about you. ok, now what's next. oh cheer up sammie lovely, i hope you feel better soon -hugs- (she knows why) erm.. oh i'm also sick to fucking death of being lonely, it's so frustrating. i go on msn or any of the profile sites i'm involved with and the words and praises that people give me are astounding and lovely and they feel so nice, yet the second i sign out it's like oh reality check, no one in the real world wants you benny boy! wtf? i mean what the hell is that different about me huh? nothing as far as i can tell, but if someone does find out then please please tell me so i can fucking do something about it, i've had enough of this rejection shit. that's enough for now, i hope you're all satisfied you insatiable fiends! (luv ya really) =bEnNY= (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 19th, 2005
5:33 pm	GRAND SLAM! CYMRU AM BYTH!! WALES FOREVER!! its taken us 27 years but we're back on the damn map! COME ON WALES!!! (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
10:54 pm	ive had 2 people tell me im 'hot' today, wtf is going on? (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
2:59 am	everything i hate about everything 1.America their arrogance down to their inherent belief in the 'American Dream' of rags to riches by hard work and belief in American ideology and their assumption that since America is the world's richest (ie. most corrupt) country that they have the right to mould the world in their own image. thier stupidity and arrogance are the most poignant reasons for my uncontrollable hatred for the USA. 2.Evangelicals fucking morons. these idiots are a group with whom i have an exubarent and everlasting hatred for down to their use of the Bible as a political paradigm. the Bible was written by the Italian church as a method of control, it's role is as a guidebook, not a fucking textbook. it's underpinning morals are a stable and accepted method of 'being a good person' but watching Barney the purple fucking dinosaur can tach you all that. its outdated and contradictory concepts are worthy only of severe mockery from those of an IQ above a minimum of 100, sorry George. 3.'Celebrity' these people are useless, 'celebrities' who come under this banner are mostly from sport (David Beckham, etc), music (Jennifer 'i change my name every 5 fucking minutes' Lopez, etc) and TV (Jordan, etc). These people serve no purpose, are talentless and should be castrated in order to stop the spread of the putrid disgusting and festering disease that baffles with and corrupts the minds of the poor, simple minded majority of the world. (chavs/americans) 4.Alice, Joe, Ray, etc these people (and others) have at some point in my 19 years, tormented me for some reason or another. (in a sort of letter to each kind of thing) Alice, i fucking hate you, you hindered my whole first year of university, the year i was really trying to make something of myself and start a fresh new me. You hurt Jane which was the final straw for me, I've never hated anyone more than i hate you yet i feel awkward when i see you or even think ive seen you. now why is this? i fucking hate you, yet its me who feels bad when i see you.. in fact thats probably the reason why i hate you so much as you seem to have some sort of freaky hold over me. ah well, you can fuck off back to 'alice land' where youre the centre of attention and youre the most important person in the world (stop reading psychology books, take some responsibility and fucking grow up bitch) because no matter what happens in your life i know youll never be happy.. youre a fuck up, a headcase and a nobody, just wish i had the guts and the cruelty to say this to you in person. Joe, well i knew you for about 4 days but i hate you with a passion of magnitudinal enormity. i went to Newquay to have a good time, why did you have to pick on me you fucking loser? i remember your stupid bleached blinde spikey hair and you surfer clothes. i really hope you fuck off and die as you were the one who made me more angry than ive ever been in my whole life. it was when you used your deoderant blowtorch to burn off all the hair on my left arm, i was so angry that i couldnt move or speak, no-one has ever had that sort of affect on me before or since. in fact, im not going to dignify you by continuing this anymore arsehole. Ray, now what the fuck happened here huh? we were best friends from about early 15 - late 16 but you had to go and fuck it all up. i have a lot of fond memories from our friendship but a lot of bad ones too. The days when it was you, me and charlie were so good, we had so much fun together and all those friday's we spent drinking Smirnoff Ice and copious amounts of vodka in your house and everytinhg else around that time was just great! so where did it go wrong? Now my memory of this time is somewhat blurred but basically because of you i went into depression, a state i never let on to anyone until i was out of it. It started when everyone began to abandon you, you pushed charlie too far and she left, sophie too and then eventually me. i was the last to go because i really believed there was a better person inside you. i know i tested the limits of our friendship with the various damages (not just me) and other things but the day you told me it was my fault that you didnt have a gf was realy overstepping the mark and what made it worse was that i was weak enough to believe it. you said i made you look bad, you said charlie stopped coming because of me, you told me your parents didnt like you becasue of me, you blamed all of your problems in life on your best friend who swallowed it all up and took it in like a sponge. This is where my memory of this time fades out because the depression really kicked in and i remember next to nothing of my whole life at this time. This was the lowest point of my life because you destroyed what little self respect i had and confidence? i never had a chance to try and gain confidence with a 'friend' like you. i have one memory of you forcing me to admit infront of everyone in the room that i'd never kissed a girl before, ive never been so embarassed and the smug look on your face was horrible, i felt like a fucking piece of shit. my hatred at you turned at one point when i decided id been too harsh by cutting off our friendship, that i was sorry for the way things went and that i valued our friendship, to which you oh so coloquially replied 'are you drunk?'. so thanks for that Ray, it really made me appreciate how much our friendship meant to you. you nearly killed me but im never going back to that place again, my life without you has never been better. Generic random bully, you lot are all the people who have hated me for no reason, simply for the way i look and act, the fact that i can talk to girls without wanting to have sex with them or whatever you dislike me for. from school days through to university, you arseholes have made my life a misery but you're all worthless nobodies and i hate you. ... more to come when i have time Current Mood: satisfied Current Music: incubus- the warmth (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
9:38 pm	none of you are gona care but i dont care coz it's my journal =) Head left Korn now im upset about this they are/were my favourite band and i duno wots gona happen now! thank god i got to see them live! =bEnNY= (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 21st, 2005
4:26 pm	grr i am so pissed off. went to the piercing place in exeter today to ask for some advice because i was worried about my lip (the ring was digging in) the fuckers made me take it out i feel like crying, i've spent upwards of £40 on cleaning products and the piercing itself so it was a complete waste of money and of my time and effort. im just EURGH!!!! so angry all because i have stupid fucking fat lips! -has rage- SO FUCKING ANNOYED/PISSED OFF/UPSET.. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!! =bEnNY= Current Mood: angry Current Music: korn (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
11:59 pm	charles kennedy rocks. we might have ID cards in britain in a few years and good ol' charlie was like... "well given that ID cards in spain didnt stop the Madrid bombings and the 9/11 attackers travelled on their own identities, that britons wont have compulsory ID cards for at least 10 years AND that people visiting wont be required to have them.. how can you justify the need for ID cards as a method of stopping terrorism?" balir was like ummmmmmmm 1-0 Lib Dem's! still not gona vote for the buggers tho, their tax policy sucks balls but their foreign policy is cool. i duno who to vote for >.< damn elections, i hate the british government. went to see that woman today about canada and she pretty much guaranteed that ill be going which is awesome and im really happy about! damn presentation done, only 2 more now! grrr =bEnNY= (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
9:14 pm	owwie. my lip is so sore, i have a dent where the ring has dug into my lip because of the swelling which i was worried about for a bit, until other pierced people reassured me that they had the same problem! so thats all good its just that the winter air has made it really dry and its all cracked and horrible and the dented bit is really sore which means it hurts to.. a) apply lip balm/ vaseline to make it better b) move it at all, which i need to do so it wont heal around the metal and stick it in one place! bleurgh!!! but in better news.. i got this email yesterday... "Dear Ben, Thank you for your application form to study at Carleton University. I am very pleased to tell you that you are able to apply to your first choice institution. The application form can be collected from my office, Room 218 Northcote House, on Thursday 10 February. I would be grateful if you could complete the form and return to me, with all relevant documentation by Tuesday 1 March at the VERY LATEST. You can liaise with me if you have any queries, or your Study Abroad Co-ordinator, Dr Peter Morris. I look forward to meeting you. Best regards, Anne" so i was very pleased by that, i'm so happy exeter have allowed me to go.. im not exactly a model student! im writing a presentation about the economics and globalisation effects on Costa Rica.. wot a load of shit! =bEnNY= (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
1:47 pm	just chatting to twinklesque which is fun! we're talking about things and it's got me thinking about the points in my life where i coul've been a completely different person.. right... 1. i should be a 'jock', 'prep', whatever you wana call them. when in sixth form (aged 17/18) all my friends became jocks, the crowd of rugby boys who just flirt with girls, fight and generally just fuck around.. which i didn't do. i was much happier just chatting to people and not associating with one particular group, i was one of those in-between groups people who just has some good friends but associates with everyone ya know? i should've become a jock tho, it was all set out to be that way.. but im glad i didnt. 2. i should be gay i have 4 sisters, my favourite colour when i was younger was pink and for the majority of things i prefer the company of women. not that being gay is a bad thing, but im really glad im not. i wana have a family, children is what im here for.. i really believe that. im glad for my sisters, theyve really helped me become the person i am today, cant imagine life without them! well now my heads blank and ive run out of things to say =) =bEnNY= (Comment on this)