benny_mcdeth

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-06-16T01:10:00

2005-06-16T01:04:44Z

some people are fucking idiots.
basically spoke to this girl for the first time on msn today,
shes being really nice and then for some reason she asks if i'd be with her if she was here and i was like well no, i think 16's a bit too young.. let chaos commence....

me
her

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
lol, i dont have a type i go for, just in my opinion 16s a little too young. i mean thts still in school

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
18 is still in skool then

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
n thats only a yera yunger than u

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
18s an adult, thts different

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
no its nt different

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
lol yes it is, 18 is end of school anyway

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
they r in 6th form just liek em (edit: i think she meant me).. n im pretty much 17.. its just im 1 of the yungets of the year n im sure u wuld kno abotu that neway (edit:she has the same birthday as me)

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
well its nt the end of skool if that perosn is the odlest in the yera n turns 18 in septemeber...

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
its a years difference

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
yeh but 18 isnt school, its 6th form which is different anyway

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
16 is gsces (edit: gcses is the exams you do in school in year 11, when most people are 16)

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
16 is nt fuckin gcses.. im in 6th form

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
lol i know tht! i dont mean u (edit: note here that i said i didnt mean her)

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
its just my birthdya is the last in the year

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
but 16 is gcse age

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
so evry1in my yera is 17 n im still waitign for my birthdday

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
right ur in year12, thts different

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
yea i am in year 12

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
thats nt gcses year

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
lol i never said it was!!

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
n im 16 coz my birthdya is in july

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
i said 16 is gcse age, which it is

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
well u did just sya it was gcses year

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
it is! most people who do their gcses are 16

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
i was 15 wen id id my gcses

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
yeh me too, but we're july birthdays

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
n so were u (edit: i just said that dumbass)

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
everyone else i knew was 16

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
yea so surely ud kno wat its liekt hen u kno im a july girl.. so y u goign on abotu oh well it too yugn coz its gcses wen im nt

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
oh wow if i was born a month earlier id b 17 nwo n thatd b cool with u

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
thats just dfuckin pathetic.. its 1 motnhs difference n considering ure birthdya is the same as mine u shuld kno that betetr than ne1 ne wat (edit: so she assumed we were talking about her)

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
lol youre not reading what i said! i said 16 is gcse age.. and it is, we're just late birthdays. so for tht reason, i wouldnt wana be with a 16 year old coz it makes me think of gcses

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
but im nt!

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
n u shudl fuickin kno that coz we share the same birthdays

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
so ure just talkign a load of bull (edit: what the hell?)

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
did you read what i wrote? i said 16 makes me think of gcses, not youre 16 so youre doing your gsces

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
yea but im 17 next month... n ure just beign a shit about it n goign ugh ure too yung coz ur eliek the ppl doin gvcses n im nt

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
n if thats hwo u act then thayts prob y ppl dnt like u (edit: people dont like me?)

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
coz i ave been really nice to u n ure just being an ass hole

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
you misunderstand what i say so im an asshole?

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
even tho u share the same fuckinbirthdya as me so ushuld fuckin kno (edit: i think somebody may have missed the point)

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
so you hate me coz i wouldnt go out with you is basically what youre trying to say?

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
no i dnt hate u im pissed off at u coz i think ure behaivign lieka dick

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
omg!

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
u misunderstood what i was saying and got pissed off!

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
ive bene nothgin but nice to u n syaign how nice i think u look n ur eliek ugh well if twer ehere iw udlnt liek u coz ure too yung ure 16... so ure still at skool... but im nt coz im in 6th form n u kno that coz u fukcinw ent thro it all as u shatre the same birthdya as me.. so being born a motnh earlier so that id b 17 now.. ud b oke with me.. n thats just fuckin pathetic

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
thts not what i said at all, thts just how u chose to look at it

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
no that is wta u fuckin said.. u look back on it.. u said u wuldnt want me if iw as there coz i was too yung.. (edit: because 16 reminds me of gcses) u also said im still at skool n thats too yung wen im nt still at skool n then u went off on 1 about gcses (edit: i went off on one? i dont remember getting pissed off and calling anyone pathetic) ppl which has nothign to do with me coz im older than that.. n if i was borna month earlier id b 17 n ud b cool (edit: i never said that) with that n thsats realy petty. n u shuld of known that more than ne1 coz ure birthdya is the same as mine

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
thats because you assumed this was all about you!!!!!
i said i wouldnt go out with anyone who was 16, because in my opinion, the age of 16 reminds ME of gcses. now tht doesnt matter when your birthday is, what year youre in, the age 16 reminds me of gcses

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
but im hardly 16 (edit: so fucking what?)

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
im practically 17

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
i ave ntohgin to do with the gcses year

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
right so youre a different case, but you assumed i was talking about you when i was telling you about my opinion in general

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
coz all that was a year ago (edit: i thought i was the one who went 'off on one')

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
and i didnt go off on one about gcses, you got pissed off, not me

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
yea bcoz u todl em uw udlnt want me fi i was there coz i was too yung!!!

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder says:
ok then now we'll talk about you. you might be practically 17 but you still look young and youre still in school (6th form IS different i know but still makes me tihnk of school)

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
u r full of bull (edit: fuck you!) u kno that coz u said u r ok with 17 as thats as low as ud go, i look older than u (edit: haha, you fucking wish.. this is what she looks like... click here). n u also said 18 was fine n 18 is also 6th form.. so u r full of fuckin bullshit

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder, den mu milas says:
doesnt matter what i look like, i said 17 is as low as i wld go but tht doesnt mean in every single case, besides i dont even know you and just because someone turns 18 means i automatically think ooh now i can go out with them

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
u r fuckin full of bull

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
coz u dnt even kno wat the fuck u r on about mate.. coz u chop n chnage wat ure talkin about

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
n u kno wat i just dnt wanan talk to u nemore (edit: shame)

götlek, stronthoer, enculé, scheiße, shinach, gomiso, joder, den mu milas says:
errr, thts called having an opinion

.·´¯`·->ßüllët wïth ßüttërflÿ wïngs<-·´¯`·. says:
coz i cant stand ppl liek that

and then she blocked me.

it takes a lot to piss me off but that really made me angry.
some people are fucking idiots.

ps. andika socks

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-06-13T00:23:00

2005-06-12T23:27:58Z

couple of points that have emerged in the last moments

1. im opinionated
2. people misunderstand my posts
3. because the majority of people believe in something doesnt mean its right (ie. the world is flat)
4. my opinions arent the same as everyone elses
5. i hate celebrity, the whole idea is awful
6. i agree with communism

rarr

2005-06-12T20:10:00Z

fucktard celebrities
who the hell do they think they are?!?

now world poverty is a bad thing and all the starving little kiddies in africa sucks! but celebrities telling me to do my bit is hypo-fucking-critical bullshit!!!

take this prime example

i turn on my tv to watch buffy and the adverts are on so im thinking pff, damn adverts, i dont want a bloody £10,000 peugeot thanku very much and arrg crazy frog!!
but i digress.

after said frog came justin timbertwat, dressed in white, looking solemnly at the screen.
he clicks his fingers,
thus follows bono, chris martin, madonna, -insert loser celbrity here- all clicking their fingers looking all sad
whats this for i ponder as it continues until mr.voiceover man says something about a kid dying every 3 seconds (i think) from aids, blah blah etc.

then its like give £3 a week, buy some wristband or something and do your part. then some other celebrity clicks their fingers and its all over.

now im livid
how dare they.

justin timberlake, bono, chris martin and madonna have more money than all of fucking africa, why dont they give 75% of ther wealth to aids research?
now THAT would be charity
but they wont, the just want to put their smug, fat faces onto a campaign to boost their image and thus record sales, movie sales, etc.

i cannot believe they seriously attempt to lay a guilt trip onto someone like me, i cant afford it!! id fucking love to help but i cant! i dont have the money!!
but you do you celebrity bastard so stop hassling me and fuck off

edit. just saw an advert for a new U2 album.. coincidence? i think not.

edit2. Speaking of which!!!
Live 8
just heard the best quote about it
"the worlds 8 richest countries get to meet the worlds 8 richest pop stars"

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-06-11T00:21:00

2005-06-10T23:22:46Z

star wars is cool
just watched the third one, revenge of the sith

good stuff

i was GOING to say something about it, but im going to do more research before i formulate something cool,
so bear with me

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-06-07T04:14:00

2005-06-07T03:16:30Z

i'm ronery, so ronery
so ronery and sadry arone

poor rittle meeee

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-06-02T21:33:00

2005-06-02T20:39:07Z

in other news, one more exam left.. yay!

1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by? KORN

2. What was the last song you listened to?
Alice in Chains: 'Nutshell'

3. What's in your CD player right now?
Alice in Chains Unplugged

4. What song would you say sums you up?
KoRn: 'Somebody Someone'

5. What's your favourite local band?
Bullet For My Valentine.. yay Wales!

6. What was the last show you attended?
Flogging Molly in Exeter

7. What's the shittiest band you've ever seen in concert?
ermm... CKY

8. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
Metallica

9. What is the most musically involved you have ever been?
playing instruments

10. What show are you looking forward to?
korn

11. What is your favourite band shirt?
my Athlete one

12. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Layne Staley, but he's dead so meh

13. What musician would you like to hump for a day?
Cristina Scabbia

14. Metal question-Jeans and Leather vs. Cracker Jack clothes?
Jeans and Leather

15. Black Sabbath or solo Ozzy?
Ozzy

16. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie?
Neither, big mouthed shit

17. Blackjack or solo Michael Bolton?
please kill me now

18. The Eagles or solo Don Henley?
The Eagles

19. The Police or solo Sting?
The Police

20. Doesn't emo suck?
only the attitude and lifestyle that goes with it

21. Name 4 flawless albums?
haha
duno

22. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
no =(

23. What was the greatest decade for music?
90s

24. How many music-related videos/dvds do you own?
ermm.. about 4

25. Do you like Journey?
yep

26. What is your favourite movie soundtrack?
team america, world police
ameeerica, fuck yerr!

27. What was your last musical "phase" before you wisened up?
haha, lil pop music kid

28. What's the crappiest CD/record/etc you've ever bought?
5ive: 'We Will Rock You'
or Steps

29. Do you prefer vinyl or Cd's?
CD's

30. What is your guilty pleasure CD, that being the CD you love but would be ashamed to admit you have in your collection?
Backstreet Boys! =D

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-06-02T21:05:00

2005-06-02T20:05:04Z

This is what happens when people piss me off.

basically on my profile somewhere i have written...
Americans, congratulations to you because you have just won yourself 4 more years of alienating other countries, offending the minorities upon whom your 'great nation' was built, causing wars and fucking up the world. thanks very much you bastards

and this is what an american made of it..

HER

I'm going to ask you a few questions before I do I will let you know this is not to affend you or insult you in any.

1) What all do you do know about our election?
2) Did you know exactly what was good for us?
3) Did you understand the situation we were under before you got all pissed and blamed all the Americans to blame for the state of the world?

If you'd look into your own country's history you'd see that your country did it's fair share of war mongering too. But I can not agree with what the republicans are doing here I felt I had to stand up for my idiot country (led by a idiot). On a funnier note Bush does not have any public speaking ablities and he's incredibly stupid he reads off note cards for his speeches. You should watch him speak it's funny. And if I could have voted I would have never have voted for Bush. I don't think I would've voted for either Kerry or Bush I think I would've voted under "other".

so now i was pissed off.. cue reply...

ME

"I will let you know this is not to affend you or insult you in any"
ok well that was a lie wasn't it?

it's like when you say 'no offence but..' which is followed by something grossly offensive

you've assumed i'm an idiot, which is very very irritating. you've also made the assumption that i wrote that little piece of gold without any prior knowledge and/or relevant material which i used as a base and subsequent guide for my argument.

right your questions..

"1) What all do you do know about our election?"

well i'm sorry to burst your bubble hunny but i'm a politics student ok? now that means i study the politics of nations other than and including my own, including elections. which suffice to say, means i probably know more than you.
or have i misinterpreted? were you asking me for a basic run down of what your elections entail? in that case..

each candidate (now im only taking the republicans and democrats here, im fully aware that there are more) appears on the ballot and every american citizen (not in jail or mentally ill) registered to vote can decide which candidate they'd like their electoral college to vote for. it's a culmination of the toll of the electoral college votes that decides who wins the presidential election.

so i hope that answers question 1 for you.

"2) Did you know exactly what was good for us?"

if an evangelical, idiotic texan is good for your country then i'm a black man.
but on the other hand, some may feel he is good for you and that the american culture has become too diverse and you should be reconnected with the true american spirit.. you know, the one that wants to enslave the black man, opress women and empower the single minded white male, rendering free will irrelevant and bringing all under the star spangled banner of freedom, justice and honour.

"3) Did you understand the situation we were under before you got all pissed and blamed all the Americans to blame for the state of the world?"

lol well considering i was 15 when Bush got elected, i think my knowledge of world history was rather scant but given the wisdom of hindsight yes i do understand the situation you were in.

i'm not blaming america entirely thanku very much, but you haven't exactly helped the process!
"weapons of mass destruction" ummm, where? no-one found any, therefore you lied, illegally over ran a country and deposed it's leader, that's just plain wrong. and look at the mess the middle east is in now? fantastic. cheers america, appreciate it.

what about my country's past?
i don't remember being involved in any of those wars.. because i wasn't alive. i can't aplogise because i played no part, offered no judgement, cast no stone, whatever you want to say about it.

and you have to remember that british 'warmongering' was at a time when there was no moral outrage about it, it was just another aspect of capitalism, the very same paradigm that america thrives on in the modern world, it's not fair to compare your current situation, in a world of laws against racism, crimes against humanity and internationally recognised state boundaries, to our situation in a world of colonialism and kings and queens.

finally, i dont think its funny that hes stupid, it's scary, it would be funnier to shove rusty needles through my eyes to be honest.

anyway, if you even got this far, my reply was not intended to offend (that's an O) or insult, merely inform you of my morals.

=bEnNY=

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-05-29T02:35:00

2005-05-29T01:35:57Z

someone took sneaky pics of me on webcam...

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-05-29T02:07:00

2005-05-29T01:05:46Z

haha
decided to scare you all

this is me one year ago

those are the four worst pictures ever taken of me
enjoy =P

heres my newest one coz im cool

hmm

2005-05-11T17:25:18Z

im insecure
i dont like it but i am

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-05-08T03:07:00

2005-05-08T02:08:40Z

so we have another Labour government
expected.

im not surprised, im glad their majority was lessened though, and rather considerably too.
but its not enough

Michael Howard's a failure and its just as well he's stepping down soon, fukn Conservatives are a waste of space anyway.

Labour won my constituency again, damn you John Smith!
i voted Lib Dem who came third in the Vale.. so my vote was pretty much a waste lol.

but it's the first time i felt powerful because my family all voted Conservative and i thought no, i'm not going to do it, even though my mum spent all day trying to convince me Con was the way to go!
Lib Dem all the way baby!

party of the future!

anyway, blah blah, exams soon, yadda yadda.
bye.

=bEnNY=

bout time ben you lazy bastard!

2005-04-27T02:01:20Z

hello world
im not dead =)

it's been a while since i posted anything new on here and i just felt like it was the right time.
i'm a bit confused and borderline annoyed.

now i like it when people trust me enough to come to me with their problems, notably Franki, Pippi or Sammie.. but why do randoms i've met on msn always act as if i'll drop everything i'm doing and give them a confidence boost... probably because i do.

i hate it, well i dont hate it, but it concerns me a little because i wana help these people but it'd do damn repetitive and i just feel like saying fucking use your head, stop bitching and do something about it!!!
but i can't and won't do that,
that's not me.

i like to think i'm a nice person, i'm approachable and i listen, now does that mean i want to listen? nooo it doesn't, it means i will. i wish there was a way i could make them all happy but i can't and i sometimes feel like the more i talk to someone and reassure them, the more depressed they get around me because they know i'll work my arse off to make them feel better..
stupid huh?
perhaps that's paranoia, or maybe i'm being realistic. i duno
don't particuarly care either because i'll never know the answer.

it's just bleh! i have a life too people! you know, i'll help you when i can but give me a break please.
now i know some of you are going to read this and think it's aimed at you.. it's not, this is just how i feel at this moment in time and concerns no particular person or group of people who will read this journal. and also, i don't want those of you who i do talk to when you need me to stop doing that because if you're in trouble then i want to help, but only because i care about you.

ok, now what's next.
oh cheer up sammie lovely, i hope you feel better soon -hugs- (she knows why)

erm..
oh i'm also sick to fucking death of being lonely, it's so frustrating.
i go on msn or any of the profile sites i'm involved with and the words and praises that people give me are astounding and lovely and they feel so nice, yet the second i sign out it's like oh reality check, no one in the real world wants you benny boy! wtf? i mean what the hell is that different about me huh?
nothing as far as i can tell, but if someone does find out then please please tell me so i can fucking do something about it, i've had enough of this rejection shit.

that's enough for now, i hope you're all satisfied you insatiable fiends!
(luv ya really)

=bEnNY=

GRAND SLAM!

2005-03-19T17:33:30Z

CYMRU AM BYTH!!
WALES FOREVER!!

its taken us 27 years but we're back on the damn map! COME ON WALES!!!

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-03-17T22:54:00

2005-03-17T22:54:19Z

ive had 2 people tell me im 'hot' today,

wtf is going on?

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-03-16T02:59:00

2005-03-16T03:39:59Z

everything i hate about everything

1.America
their arrogance down to their inherent belief in the 'American Dream' of rags to riches by hard work and belief in American ideology and their assumption that since America is the world's richest (ie. most corrupt) country that they have the right to mould the world in their own image. thier stupidity and arrogance are the most poignant reasons for my uncontrollable hatred for the USA.

2.Evangelicals
fucking morons. these idiots are a group with whom i have an exubarent and everlasting hatred for down to their use of the Bible as a political paradigm. the Bible was written by the Italian church as a method of control, it's role is as a guidebook, not a fucking textbook. it's underpinning morals are a stable and accepted method of 'being a good person' but watching Barney the purple fucking dinosaur can tach you all that. its outdated and contradictory concepts are worthy only of severe mockery from those of an IQ above a minimum of 100, sorry George.

3.'Celebrity'
these people are useless, 'celebrities' who come under this banner are mostly from sport (David Beckham, etc), music (Jennifer 'i change my name every 5 fucking minutes' Lopez, etc) and TV (Jordan, etc). These people serve no purpose, are talentless and should be castrated in order to stop the spread of the putrid disgusting and festering disease that baffles with and corrupts the minds of the poor, simple minded majority of the world. (chavs/americans)

4.Alice, Joe, Ray, etc
these people (and others) have at some point in my 19 years, tormented me for some reason or another. (in a sort of letter to each kind of thing)

Alice, i fucking hate you, you hindered my whole first year of university, the year i was really trying to make something of myself and start a fresh new me. You hurt Jane which was the final straw for me, I've never hated anyone more than i hate you yet i feel awkward when i see you or even think ive seen you. now why is this? i fucking hate you, yet its me who feels bad when i see you.. in fact thats probably the reason why i hate you so much as you seem to have some sort of freaky hold over me. ah well, you can fuck off back to 'alice land' where youre the centre of attention and youre the most important person in the world (stop reading psychology books, take some responsibility and fucking grow up bitch) because no matter what happens in your life i know youll never be happy.. youre a fuck up, a headcase and a nobody, just wish i had the guts and the cruelty to say this to you in person.

Joe, well i knew you for about 4 days but i hate you with a passion of magnitudinal enormity. i went to Newquay to have a good time, why did you have to pick on me you fucking loser? i remember your stupid bleached blinde spikey hair and you surfer clothes. i really hope you fuck off and die as you were the one who made me more angry than ive ever been in my whole life. it was when you used your deoderant blowtorch to burn off all the hair on my left arm, i was so angry that i couldnt move or speak, no-one has ever had that sort of affect on me before or since. in fact, im not going to dignify you by continuing this anymore arsehole.

Ray, now what the fuck happened here huh? we were best friends from about early 15 - late 16 but you had to go and fuck it all up. i have a lot of fond memories from our friendship but a lot of bad ones too. The days when it was you, me and charlie were so good, we had so much fun together and all those friday's we spent drinking Smirnoff Ice and copious amounts of vodka in your house and everytinhg else around that time was just great! so where did it go wrong?
Now my memory of this time is somewhat blurred but basically because of you i went into depression, a state i never let on to anyone until i was out of it. It started when everyone began to abandon you, you pushed charlie too far and she left, sophie too and then eventually me. i was the last to go because i really believed there was a better person inside you. i know i tested the limits of our friendship with the various damages (not just me) and other things but the day you told me it was my fault that you didnt have a gf was realy overstepping the mark and what made it worse was that i was weak enough to believe it.
you said i made you look bad, you said charlie stopped coming because of me, you told me your parents didnt like you becasue of me, you blamed all of your problems in life on your best friend who swallowed it all up and took it in like a sponge. This is where my memory of this time fades out because the depression really kicked in and i remember next to nothing of my whole life at this time.
This was the lowest point of my life because you destroyed what little self respect i had and confidence? i never had a chance to try and gain confidence with a 'friend' like you. i have one memory of you forcing me to admit infront of everyone in the room that i'd never kissed a girl before, ive never been so embarassed and the smug look on your face was horrible, i felt like a fucking piece of shit.
my hatred at you turned at one point when i decided id been too harsh by cutting off our friendship, that i was sorry for the way things went and that i valued our friendship, to which you oh so coloquially replied 'are you drunk?'. so thanks for that Ray, it really made me appreciate how much our friendship meant to you.
you nearly killed me but im never going back to that place again, my life without you has never been better.

Generic random bully, you lot are all the people who have hated me for no reason, simply for the way i look and act, the fact that i can talk to girls without wanting to have sex with them or whatever you dislike me for. from school days through to university, you arseholes have made my life a misery but you're all worthless nobodies and i hate you.

... more to come when i have time

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-02-22T21:38:00

2005-02-22T21:38:05Z

none of you are gona care but i dont care coz it's my journal =)

Head left Korn

now im upset about this

they are/were my favourite band and i duno wots gona happen now!
thank god i got to see them live!

=bEnNY=

grr

2005-02-21T16:28:39Z

i am so pissed off.

went to the piercing place in exeter today to ask for some advice because i was worried about my lip (the ring was digging in)
the fuckers made me take it out

i feel like crying, i've spent upwards of £40 on cleaning products and the piercing itself so it was a complete waste of money and of my time and effort.
im just EURGH!!!! so angry

all because i have stupid fucking fat lips!

-has rage-

SO FUCKING ANNOYED/PISSED OFF/UPSET.. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!!

=bEnNY=

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-02-10T23:59:00

2005-02-11T00:04:19Z

charles kennedy rocks.

we might have ID cards in britain in a few years and good ol' charlie was like...

"well given that ID cards in spain didnt stop the Madrid bombings and the 9/11 attackers travelled on their own identities, that britons wont have compulsory ID cards for at least 10 years AND that people visiting wont be required to have them.. how can you justify the need for ID cards as a method of stopping terrorism?"

balir was like ummmmmmmm

1-0 Lib Dem's!

still not gona vote for the buggers tho, their tax policy sucks balls but their foreign policy is cool. i duno who to vote for >.<
damn elections, i hate the british government.

went to see that woman today about canada and she pretty much guaranteed that ill be going which is awesome and im really happy about!
damn presentation done, only 2 more now! grrr

=bEnNY=

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-02-09T21:14:00

2005-02-09T21:17:35Z

owwie.
my lip is so sore, i have a dent where the ring has dug into my lip because of the swelling which i was worried about for a bit, until other pierced people reassured me that they had the same problem! so thats all good

its just that the winter air has made it really dry and its all cracked and horrible and the dented bit is really sore which means it hurts to..
a) apply lip balm/ vaseline to make it better
b) move it at all, which i need to do so it wont heal around the metal and stick it in one place!

bleurgh!!!

but in better news.. i got this email yesterday...

"Dear Ben,
Thank you for your application form to study at Carleton University.
I am very pleased to tell you that you are able to apply to your first choice institution.
The application form can be collected from my office, Room 218 Northcote House, on Thursday 10 February. I would be grateful if you could complete the form and return to me, with all relevant documentation by Tuesday 1 March at the VERY LATEST.
You can liaise with me if you have any queries, or your Study Abroad Co-ordinator, Dr Peter Morris.
I look forward to meeting you.
Best regards,
Anne"

so i was very pleased by that, i'm so happy exeter have allowed me to go.. im not exactly a model student!

im writing a presentation about the economics and globalisation effects on Costa Rica.. wot a load of shit!

=bEnNY=

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-02-08T13:47:00

2005-02-08T14:15:57Z

just chatting to twinklesque which is fun!

we're talking about things and it's got me thinking about the points in my life where i coul've been a completely different person..

right...

1. i should be a 'jock', 'prep', whatever you wana call them.

when in sixth form (aged 17/18) all my friends became jocks, the crowd of rugby boys who just flirt with girls, fight and generally just fuck around.. which i didn't do.
i was much happier just chatting to people and not associating with one particular group, i was one of those in-between groups people who just has some good friends but associates with everyone ya know?
i should've become a jock tho, it was all set out to be that way.. but im glad i didnt.

2. i should be gay

i have 4 sisters, my favourite colour when i was younger was pink and for the majority of things i prefer the company of women.
not that being gay is a bad thing, but im really glad im not.
i wana have a family, children is what im here for.. i really believe that.
im glad for my sisters, theyve really helped me become the person i am today, cant imagine life without them!

well now my heads blank and ive run out of things to say =)

=bEnNY=

fucking american morons

2005-02-07T19:25:49Z

i fucking hate america, those imperialistic moronic turds have pissed me off again!

apparently, 17 of the 50 american states are trying to get 'intelligent design' taught in biology lessons.
now what's their amazing argument for an 'intelligent designer' creating humanity..

they believe that "humans are too complex for there to not be some sort of intelligent designer"

you moronic, idiotic, brain-ipmaired, fat, fucking bastards.
how stupid are you for fuck sake!!

humans are too complex, i've never read a bigger piece of shit in my life!!

the american constitution says that the affairs of church and state MUST be kept seperate, thats not a should, thats a must, and its a fucking law.

just coz the president is an evangelical idiot doesn't mean all you hard-nose blindly faithful christians can pass all your religious bullshit onto the youth... FUCK OFF!

Darwin is right, evolution IS the correct answer so get your heads out of your arses, pick up your shotgun (available at all good stores), do yourself and us a favour and blow your fucking face off.

THE END!

=bEnNY=

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-02-06T04:00:00

2005-02-06T04:01:07Z

so, errr. Rammstein rock? My Review!

they absolutely battered ass.
great gig.

then i got my lip pierced today.. which was nice

i'm not allowed to play with it
but i can't help it >.<

=bEnNY=

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-02-03T02:17:00

2005-02-03T02:21:53Z

so ive been drinking for about 3 days, lol. go me! >.<

trashed monday night, i remember fuck all, i have no idea how i got home and how i lost everybody, all i know is we spent £80 on drink in an hour between 3 of us, that we were at the bar all night, that we were only drinking southern comfort and that i had a massive burger from 'Mega Kebab' afterwards.

btw that's...
194 Australian Dollars, or
186 Canadian Dollars, or
150 American Dollars, or
115 Euro.

anyone who now doesn't understand how much i spent can find out for themselves =P

and i was singing while cam plyed guitar tonight,
i suck.

he says im good
psht.

im about as good as i am attractive =P

=bEnNY=

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-01-31T04:51:00

2005-01-31T04:56:44Z

so today was shit until about 9pm when me and cam decided to convert our sitting room area into a guitar room. =D

we moved the sofa and chair to the edge of the room blocking the kitchen, then we moved the other chair upstairs blocking charlie's room (shes not here for the week) and fucked up the wall as we moved it.

then we put a PS2, a laptop full of music connected to a stereo, 2 amps and about 11 guitars in the room along with all of cam's pedals and jon's sound thing.

and it rocks

we totally rocked out!

and tomorrow we're gona get drunk to celebrate, wooo! =)

=bEnNY=

benny_mcdeth @ 2005-01-28T01:40:00

2005-01-28T01:43:32Z

so Canada's looking pretty good!

i finally got my 'personal tutor' to give me my reference, the fucking idiot took his goddam time, scared the shit out of me for about 2 weeks that i might not get it and refused to reply to my e-mails, eventually saying 'oh, i was on study leave'. THANKS ASSHOLE!!

but yeah, he's an arse and hopefully i'm not gona need to talk to him again.. ever!

everything is sent away on Feb 1st and then it's up to Carleton University to decide if they want me and if they do, then im off to Canada in September, yay!! =D

=bEnNY=